Better Vs. Bitter

"Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many."
                                                                                                                               Hebrews 12:14-15




Once upon a time there was a married couple who were abundantly blessed: spiritually, in their family, and financially. They knew God's hand was upon their lives and their loved ones and they found great comfort in this knowledge. That is, until the bottom fell out of their world.

In one single day, their lives careened out of control. The result was the funeral of all ten of their children, dramatic financial loss, and a painful illness that was so extreme that the husband cried out to God to take his life. The name of this husband was Job, and his wife's name didn't even get mentioned in God's Word.

Now, I am not one that would throw any stones at Job's wife, even though this is the stuff that causes many a bad wife joke.  However, there are many theologians who have. Augustine labeled her as "the devil's accomplice". And, Calvin identified her as "a diabolical fury".

The quote that she is famous for is not an enviable one. After seeing her husband in excruciating pain and wiping his sores with broken pottery, she cried out in raw emotion. She exclaimed, "Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!" (Job 2:9). This was not her finest moment.

Yet, per usual, there may have been more to her story. Just try to imagine the shock and grief of a mother who witnessed the death of all ten of her children in a moments time. Then, imagine transitioning from being the wealthiest family in the world to becoming a bankrupt, homeless beggar? All the while, she is trying to take care of a gravely ill spouse in such indescribable pain that he despaired even for his life. This was one day in the life of Job's wife.

At this point, it had to have been easier in the short-term to withdraw and become bitter. It would have been much more costly to engage in the shock and terror of their present circumstances and to refrain from blame. No blame to God or to each other.

This passage in the book of Hebrews contrasts our two possible choices when life throws us a harsh curve ball. The positive response is to: pursue peace and reconcile all relationships, seek after holiness by removing sin from our relationships, and to extend God's grace, love, mercy, and tenderness to all people involved since we recognize just how much God has forgiven for us. We also realize that how we sin against one another is actually against jesus, Himself. In this we become conduits of God's goodness, even in the midst of the most difficult of situations. This is what Job chose to do.

His wife, however, did not. (Oh, how I wish this situation was reversed!). Even though both people had experienced the same tragedies, she fell short of the grace of God and allowed a bitter root to spring up. This created a bitter infection of her heart and soul that inevitably affected those around her.

They were the same circumstances and yet vastly different responses. There are two scenarios that typically result in bitterness. The first one is that we believe that something we deserve has been taken from us. The second one is that we believe that something we don't deserve is given to us. Both of these beliefs create an environment for bitterness to grow.

To put it more succinctly, either we will respond in obedience or we will sin in our pain. This is where it gets complicated, though, because it would never be truthful to say that a victim is the guilty person. They are not. Yet, there is clearly a path of obedience that will allow God's grace to cover the wrong incurred. This path prevents victims from seeking compensation for their pain. Choosing grace will prevent a root of bitterness from growing.

Bitterness is deceptive and seductive. Before we can even blink, we become enslaved when we allow bitterness, anger, resentment, and a critical spirit to begin to permeate everything and everyone. The book of Deuteronomy admonishes us to "make sure there is no root among you that produces bitter poison" (Deuteronomy 29:18).

According to Dr. Crawford Loritts, there are recognizable signs of bitterness. They are as follows:
          *recruiting others to take up your offense
          *anger (excessive; always under the surface)
          *unhealthy, unbalanced confrontation (shooting a canary with a cannon)
          *obsessed with a hurt or issue (looking for opportunities to vent)
          *fear and flight (passive-aggressive)
          *Can't face the person who hurt you

Ultimately, bitterness gets ingrained into our personalities. This results in sudden, unpredictable manifestations that are destructive. This infection is highly contagious and requires a quarantine if the person refuses to repent.

This poison steals, kills, and destroys. It steals our joy, our health, and eventually gives way to delusional thinking. If left unchecked, it will undoubtedly take our lives. The destruction is incalculable because it can prevent Christians from knowing fullness and freedom in Christ and might even indicate that we are not saved.

If there is a root of bitterness, the answer is always repentance. We can dig it out and confess our sins, knowing that God is just and faithful to forgive them (1 John 1:5-10). This will give us eyes to see God's hand at work, even in the midst of pain. It also enables us to receive His comfort and guidance when we need it the most.

We don't get to always choose what happens (or doesn't happen) to us, but we do get to choose whether we will then become a judge or a forgiver (Ephesians 4:31-32). Forgiving forges the way to take the opportunities God places before us.

We experience peace by resolving conflicts as they occur and pursuing peace in all our relationships. We never pay back evil (Romans 12:17-21), but, instead choose to bless those who have hurt us. Replacing good in the stead of evil propels a trajectory that glorifies God and extends His Kingdom on earth.

It is God's desire for us to be clean and pure vessels with clear consciences. We can choose true reconciliation even if the other person refuses to accept it. We can forgive and refuse to be defined by our hurt or our pain. We can refuse to become bitter.

Our lives and our destinies are too important to squander for momentary indulgences the way that Esau did. His one decision prompted a lifetime of regret that he never conquered. He never allowed God's grace to cover the consequences of his action.

It is much better and more fruitful to accept our challenges, receive God's grace, and witness God moving in mighty ways. In the end, God will redeem, renew, and restore all that concerns us. In the interim, we choose to be better and not to be bitter. And.... live happily ever after!


"Love alone makes heavy burdens light and bears in equal balance things pleasing and displeasing. Love bears a heavy burden and does not feel it, and love makes bitter things tasteful and sweet."
                                                                                                                               Thomas a Kempis

Sure-Footed

         "You have given plenty of room for my steps under me, that my feet would not slip."
                                                              Psalm 18:36




Faith can falter in the event of a major crisis and when the trials that abound seem relentless. At times, it can feel as if the world around us is closing in like a never-ending vise grip. This tight squeeze can continue its pursuit until it feels like your lungs are compressed and even the breath we take seems inadequate. Ironically, while human nature may tend to pull back from God, it is only faith and trust that will lead us to victory.

In this world, it is highly probable that at some point we will experience an earth-shattering, heart-breaking, soul-testing life event. These are the moments that we wonder if we can survive such our circumstances? And, if we do, we wonder if life can ever be the same?

These are the emotions that David felt when he penned the eighteenth Psalm. Thankfully, he is recalling how he felt right after God had given him victory over all that had risen up against him. He remembered God's divine protection as He hid David in the rocky cliffs when he fled from Saul and then from his very own son, Absalom.

There had to have been moments when David felt unsteady or unsure. Maybe there were even moments when he thought his foot was slipping. Yet, because of the tender intimacy he shared with his Heavenly Father, he tethered himself to the Rock, which became the sure foundation for his soul.

David learned that the Rock must be greater than the trial he was facing. Even when his life was in grave danger, he was confident when he cried out to God. He knew that divine intervention would sufficiently protect him and deliver him from all that would seek to destroy his life. He was compelled by the Word of God, not by his circumstances.

God taught David how to be sure-footed. According to the Oxford dictionary, the definition of sure-footed is "unlikely to stumble, slip, or fall; confident and competent". Throughout the course of David's life, he would learn that even in the darkest of times that he could be confident that "he would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living" (Psalm 27:13).

God's purposes prevailed. It was God's plan to train David's hands for war because he had been created to be a warrior.  Progressively, David would fully realize the impact this would have upon his life.

Throughout this Psalm, David identified seven military metaphors to paint a picture of God's love. He referred to God as his Rock (foundation of stability and protection), his fortress (high place of refuge and defense when under attack), his deliverer (Savior in the day of evil), his Rock (different word that means strong defense), his shield (deflects the enemies arrows and swords), the horn of his salvation (power in battle), and his stronghold (God's care for his servant).

All of David's life had been preparing him to be a valiant warrior. Even as a young boy, he fought off predators of his sheep and learned how to be vigilant both day and night. God developed wisdom and patience in him, as well as teaching him where to focus his efforts and prayers. David would later utilize every one of these skills when he became king of Israel. He was uniquely qualified for the job because he had been uniquely trained.

Ultimately, God brought David out of his tight squeeze and into a spacious place. He rewarded him because he refrained from evil, kept God's laws, and allowed God to fully shape his character. David was faithful and humble which enabled God to exalt him.

Rejoicing inevitably ensues when God rescues and rewards us. God subdues our enemies and saves us from all that would seek to ensnare us. Additionally, He causes us to succeed.

But, with God, there is even so much more than that! Psalm 18 tells us that God: renewed David, energized him, encouraged him, empowered him, equipped him, and enabled him. He also completely restored him and all aspects of his life.

Even while David waited for God to move on his behalf, God kept the light inside of David burning bright and caused his life to flourish. He gave him divine strength and strategies day by day. God sustained him, even during his most difficult moments.

Step by step, God was his light and his salvation. He was his sustainer and his hope. He was his very present help in times of danger. He led and guided him through treacherous times and He never left him or turned His back on him.

Consequently, David did not slip or fall backwards even though his circumstances may have enticed him to do so. Instead, he continued to march forward to the destiny that God had for him, despite any obstacles or distractions. As David continued to rely on his Heavenly Father, God made David's foot sure on the path to victory.


       "He makes me as surefooted as a deer, enabling me to stand on mountain heights."
                                                         Psalm 18:33

The Glorious Bride

"I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For He has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of His righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest and as a bride adorns herself with jewels."
                                                                                                                               Isaiah 61:10




Few things on this earth rival the joy and excitement of a wedding. It is a promise of love and hope, accompanied by the jubilation of finally discovering your forever partner. Exhilaration is tangibly palpable, both by the wedding party and the family and friends that attend. All of this is culminated by pivoting necks just waiting to catch the first glimpse of the glorious bride. Emotions run deep even as the groom tries to swallow past the lump in his throat when he sees his most heavenly vision ascending towards his arms. Tears of joy trickle down cheeks...

This is how it was for our family on Saturday as we welcomed our second daughter-in-love to our family. Sam and Austin had returned home from serving in the Pentagon to pledge their vows to one another. Austin kept trying to convince us that he was not nervous but we occasionally caught facial expressions that would dispute his claims. If Sam was nervous, she did a better job at disguising that fact.

Since they had their wedding at our home, we literally got to be a part of every single plan and detail. As many weddings as we have been a part of or witnessed, it was enlightening to really see all that is entailed in this process. Too often, I was caught up in the logistics, only to stop and be reminded of the most important thing. This happened when I glanced up to see the bride or groom catch a glimpse of their beloved's face. Both beamed brighter than a full moon and sparkled like the brightest star. Suddenly, the atmosphere changed.

The love they share served as a reminder to those around them of what is really important in this life. Both of them walked in unity and forgiveness and were inclusive to even those who had wounded them in the past. Their greatest desire was to share their most important day with everyone who had ever had been important to them and they did not let offense stand in their way.

God honored them both for these selfless decisions. There were so many miracles that happened on their wedding day. The first miracle was that it did not rain during the ceremony, even though it was supposed to. The second miracle was that prayers and scriptures were shared with some people who had never before heard them. We literally saw hearts being healed, forgiveness and reconciliation, as well as relationships being restored. Mostly, we saw God move in powerful ways!

Seeing God move in this way at their wedding made me really stop and think about our future as the bride of Christ. This heavenly wedding feast of the Lamb will supersede any earthly rendition we find here. And, when we consider the fact that God is the wedding planner, we know that it will be more glorious than any of us could even imagine!

Every detail was planned long ago, and God has customized this event to be spectacular. Matthew tells us that, "The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son" (Matthew 22:2). Even now, the linens are pressed and the table is set.

God takes it one step further by using the imagery and symbolism of the church being His bride. Isaiah tells us that, "thy Maker is thy husband; the Lord of Hosts [is] His name; and the Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; the God of the whole earth shall He be called" (Isaiah 54:5). In this, God paints a portrait that is even more intimate, emphasizing the covenant aspect of our bond.

We become His bride at the Wedding Feast of the Lamb. In the interim, we are His betrothed. He has clothed us in robes of righteousness and called us to be faithful. He wants us to look with anticipation to this day and overflow with His presence and glory while we wait. All the while, we look for those moments here when we can catch a glimpse of our Beloved's face.

He does not want our loyalties to be divided. God would say to us, "For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present [you as] a chaste virgin to Christ" (2 Corinthians 11:2). Like the anticipation the week before a wedding, we are to think about, pray about, and dream about the blessed event that awaits us.

Preparation is also required. When I think about the thousands of details it takes for a small home wedding, it occurs to me that no less should occur for this once in an all eternity event. Over and over again, our decisions will either be towards holiness or momentary happiness.  Over time, it will be obvious what our choices really were.

Paul tells us that Jesus is going to return for a bride that is holy and pure. He said, "Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the Word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain, or wrinkle, or any other blemish, but holy and blameless" (Ephesians 5:25-27). He's the One who makes us holy but the pursuit of holiness requires diligence and obedience on our part.

It also requires valuing holiness above worldly desires. Spending time in His presence gives us the courage to step out, even into unknown territory. When we put God first, it naturally follows that we will then put the needs of others before our own. Especially the spiritual needs of others.

God clothed us in garments of salvation, extended through His love, mercy, and grace. In turn, He wants us to share with others all that He has done for us. Because He has done so much, we should be eager to tell others. Daily, we renew our hope in Him so that we can share with those people in which we have given up hope. This is when we really see God's power being released.

On the day of the Wedding Feast of the Lamb, there will be unspeakable joy, a blessed union that is eternal, a redeemed church, and God will be glorified. It is so important that we bring with us as many people as possible. When we witness the culmination of each persons giftedness and diligence and obedience to honor our King, we will be amazed.

There will be so many testimonies of the goodness and greatness of our God that it will take all of eternity to take it all in. Right now, we see God putting out all the finishing touches for this Blessed Event. The table is set, the bride is getting ready, and the music is about to begin... Suddenly, we see that the bride is glorious! Better yet, the Bridegroom is majestic and regal and, oh so, mesmerizing!


                            (Dedicated to Sam and Austin-- we love you!!!!)


"Then a voice came from the throne, saying: 'Praise our God, all you His servants, you who fear Him, both great and small!' Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting: 'Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and His bride has made herself ready."
                                             Revelation 19:5-9